![came to the light of the darkness black bird came to the light of the darkness black bird](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AN5k8ep1qmY/VOjfxrHKjLI/AAAAAAAAB4Q/c4HZ1TDgTd4/s1600/Weekend%2Bwith%2BNicole%2B150%2Bcopy.jpg)
![came to the light of the darkness black bird came to the light of the darkness black bird](https://images.designtrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/01092851/Dark-Animal-Background.jpg)
I told myself that Sonny was wild, but he wasn't crazy. I had had suspicions, but I didn't name them, I kept putting them away. I had kept it outside me for a long time. I couldn't believe it: but what I mean by that is that I couldn't find any room for it anywhere inside me. He had been picked up, the evening before, in a raid on an apartment down-town, for peddling and using heroin. When he was about as old as the boys in my classes his face had been bright and open, there was a lot of copper in it and he'd had wonderfully direct brown eyes, and great gentleness and privacy. This would always be at a moment when I was remembering some specific thing Sonny had once said or done. Sometimes it hardened and seemed to expand until I felt my guts were going to come spilling out or that I was going to choke or scream. It kept melting, sending trickles of ice water all up and down my veins, but it never got less. A great block of ice got settled in my belly and kept melting there slowly all day long, while I taught my classes algebra. And at the same time I couldn't doubt it. It was not to be believed and I kept telling myself that, as I walked from the subway station to the high school. I stared at it in the swinging lights of the subway car, and in the faces and bodies of the people, and in my own face, trapped in the darkness which roared outside. Then perhaps I just stared at it, at the newsprint spelling out his name, spelling out the story.
![came to the light of the darkness black bird came to the light of the darkness black bird](http://nextluxury.com/wp-content/uploads/manly-lettering-glow-in-the-dark-hand-tattoo-with-grab-life-by-the-throat-wording.jpg)
I read it, and I couldn't believe it, and I read it again. I read about it in the paper, in the subway, on my way to work.